My Story

Drax & Simba

The boys.

The story behind this blog started five years ago when my boys, Drax and Simba (aka Needy/Bubby) were taken in by Cats Protection, which makes it more their story than mine. They were the only two that survived of an entire litter after being rejected by their birth mother.

Having a sister who works for the company, she’d often bring home kittens to foster until they were strong enough to be independent or ready for adoption into their forever homes - it’s always hard to say goodbye! After our family cat, Dillon, passed away it was decided that we’d have no more cats….

Jump to several months later and we had two new boys tearing around the house, scaling curtains, hanging off furniture and clawing the new carpet to shreds. What can I say? Weeks of bottle feeding, bathing, toilet training, playing and socialising made it impossible to let the siblings go - and let’s be honest, what’s a home without a cat?

Milky time.

They quickly developed their own little characters: Simba, the big baby (Bubby!) whose name speaks for itself; and Drax, the more independent and laid-back of the two. They weren't the closest of brothers but would often go looking for each other, enjoyed a good ol’ playfight and slept together every night. They were happy to do their own things during the day and it was nice to see Simba following his brother around from time to time.

Related post: 100 Most Popular, Quirky and Unique Cat Name Ideas

They were intelligent too, able to pick up words and gestures almost as effectively as a dog - even their memories were outstanding. Hey, it took all of two sittings to teach Simba how to flush the toilet and he was already making his own feeble attempts (he loves water so I used this to my advantage!).

I sometimes wonder if being raised by humans alters a cat’s perception, makes them more inclined to learn than if they’d had a mother. As any parent will know, cats only do what they want to do - unless there’s something in it for them.

Chillin' in their strawberry hut.

Most of their “kittenhood” was problem free. Both were raised as indoor cats for multiple reasons, plus they were terrified of outside. Drax had a couple of UTIs which cleared up quickly and no aggression was displayed between the two, although they were incredibly skittish.

Any sudden movements, loud noises such as coughing or sneezing; dropping things and carrying large objects - it was (and still is) borderline ridiculous. Strangely, Drax loved to meet new people whereas Simba would shoot off and hide until the intruder had gone. King of the jungle, he was not!

The boys would often be spooked by things, to the point that I learned to creep around the house like a master ninja. Usually they’d disappear to one of their hiding places until they were ready to come out, but one night it escalated.

A quick break from terrorising the humans.

All I heard was Simba come flying down the stairs and into the living room. He ran up the cat tree, soared into the air so he was inches away from smacking the ceiling and landed on the floor (unharmed, thank God) before scrambling behind the sofa. He’d also peed himself - truthfully, I wasn’t far behind!

What on earth had caused such a dramatic reaction? I rushed upstairs to search for Drax and found him cowering under my bed.

While I never uncovered the source of the scare, it had evidently caused friction between the boys because the whole night was filled with hissing and growling whenever they approached one another. This seemed to be a case of redirected aggression and, fortunately, it didn’t last.

Up until the age of four, these spooking incidents happened a few times, but I wasn’t overly concerned as there were never any physical fights and the process was always the same: scary event, hiding, aggression, back to normal.

Nap nap time.

Early one unsuspecting morning, a fight broke out in the kitchen which consisted of the usual hissing and yowling until one fled the scene. We suspected either one or both of them had seen a stray cat in the garden - note that we also had an old cat flap, so it’s possible that they could have smelled the intruder if it had approached the back door.

It was a much more aggressive fall out that dragged on for almost a week, during which they had their first physical altercation. I was horrified. They couldn’t be in the same room without starting a hissing war and the caterwauling was like listening to a couple of alley cats.

After some frantic research into feline aggression and potential remedies, which will be outlined in more detail throughout this site, they seemed to work things out with hardly any intervention at all. Peace was restored…. for a short time.

Related post: 3 Reasons Why Your Bonded Cats Are Fighting

Getting too big to share a bed.

Three months later, I was woken in the early hours of the morning by yowling and the scrabbling of feet. Not again! I was more frustrated than anything, I didn’t want this to be a recurring ordeal and the whole thing felt silly and unnecessary. My boys weren’t vicious, they generally got on well and had no logical reason (as far as human logic goes) to continue this behaviour. They were brothers, that should mean something. Right?

Wrong! It's sad to say, but your cat doesn’t know or care who it’s related to.

These early morning spats kept happening, almost as if it had become a habit or morning ritual. It never continued into the day, in fact everything would seem normal to the outsider but I sensed that something was brewing. There was an uneasy silence in the house that made tension between the boys deafening to me.

Anyone who’s spent as much time observing their fur babies as me will know when something’s “off”. Whether it was a look, an expression or a shift in posture; the way they crept around each other in hallways or stiffened when one entered a room. My suspicions were soon to be confirmed.

Helping mummy work.

I was in the living room with both cats when their eyes locked in a stare that lasted a little too long for my liking. I heard one of them growling, then Simba charged over to Drax so they came face to face. Drax yowled in response, which made Simba turn and bolt upstairs with Drax hot on his tail.

I’m sure I don’t have to describe the commotion of a cat fight, but I will say it’s the worst thing to listen to - especially through a ceiling. From the thunderous footfalls to the banging of floorboards as they throw themselves into a fur-flying, howling, spitting mass of teeth and claws.

If it’s any consolation, cat fights often sound far worse than they are - but that doesn’t mean there’s not an underlying issue that needs to be addressed. Remember, all of this escalated from a single look.

Brothers hanging out.

By the time I got to the boys, they’d already separated. Drax scarpered when he heard me approaching and Simba was left cowering in a corner that was splattered with his own pee. As scary and heartbreaking as it was, I started to notice a pattern. About 90% of these spats were happening in the kitchen and dining room areas, which was the site of the original “spooking”.

Was there some traumatic event or memory attached to these rooms? If only it was as simple as asking the question!

Any specialist, expert or professional will tell you that the number one rule to feline aggression is to NEVER let them fight it out. Whether it’s a one-off incident that you’re fortunate enough to never experience again or part of a longer-term issue, they do not find resolution in conflict.

That’s not to say if your cats fight once then they’ll continue to do so, it really depends on the nature of the aggression. We must find the cause or trigger in order to understand and prevent it, and so my research began.

All grown up!

When I started writing this article, I was deep amidst my cat hell journey and the outcome was unclear. I wanted to document my experience as reassurance to both myself and others that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve been as desperate and broken-hearted as you may be feeling now, my cats having gone through numerous separations and reintroductions; spending a fortune on pheromone diffusers, calming tablets and other recommendations given to me.

Related post: Top 10 Products I Used to Help Reintroduce Fighting Cats

This whole journey seems to have been a never-ending battle of one step forwards, two steps back. As soon as you think you’re making progress, bam! Another fight, another setback, another case of rewind and start again. At times I feared the aggression would never subside, and the thought of rehoming one of my babies was absolutely crushing.

The topics I discuss are unique in the fact that I’m able to apply my own personal experiences and describe how effective (or ineffective) I found various processes and/or remedies. What worked for me may not work for you, and that’s okay! You know your cats better than anyone and no two situations will be the same. With observation and vigilance, it becomes easier to spot problem behaviour and determine when, where, why and how aggression is occurring.

Simba's favourite sleeping position.

You’ll almost certainly find that doorways, corridors and narrow spaces - anywhere your cats come face to face or pass by one another - are common fighting zones. Especially if one acts as a blocker, preventing the other from entering or exiting rooms which is typically territorial behaviour. As time went on, it became clearer and clearer that Drax was the main aggressor.

While I can’t be 100% certain, I can say with some confidence that my original suspicions of an outdoor intruder cat were the most likely cause. This happened around the same time that Drax was diagnosed with having crystals in his wee, so it could have been either one or a combination of those things.

Regardless of the cause, Drax seemed to calm down after I disinfected the yard (and house) where strays might have been urine spraying, but it didn't happen overnight. Change came with a lot of trial and error.... and the most unlikely source of help.

Read the full story here: Pet Psychics: My Experience with an Animal Communicator and How It Helped My Cats

Sleeping beauty.

My patience was tested to its limits, as I’m sure yours will be too. We may never fully understand what’s going on in those little brains, but there’s always a reason for a cat acting out.

Whether that reason is physical, emotional, psychological - or a combination of all of those things - by arming yourself with a deeper understanding of feline behaviour, you’ll stand a better chance of developing a strategy for managing inter-cat aggression. At the very least, you can take comfort in the fact that you’ve done everything in your power to help.

Trust me when I say that all of the hard work and effort will be worth it to see those fur babies snuggling up together. Best of all, you’ll be prepared in the event of any recurrences and able to nip it in the bud sooner rather than later!

For a more personal account of the reintroduction process, head over to this post: How I Successfully Reintroduced Cats After Fighting

It's been a working progress and we're taking each day at a time. I never stop learning (or worrying) and continue to pass on knowledge and advice to other parents. Your comments, messages, likes and shares help to keep this site going and makes you a huge part of my mission to help our furry friends.

Drax

Simba

Have you got your own story to share? Let us know in the comments or get in touch!